Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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