I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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