these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
