I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
