Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
