why didn't you poke me back
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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