I can tuck mytits in my pants
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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