So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
