there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
