There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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