No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
