She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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