is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
