Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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