If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
