You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
