no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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