I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
