Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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