I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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