I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
