He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
