On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
