Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
