last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Randomize
