Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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