i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
