the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
