ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
