My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
