got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
