I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
