Cold hands, warm shart.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
