I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
