i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
