can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
