dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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