"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
