you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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