This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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