I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
