no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
