so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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