Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
