found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
