I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
