I'd wear matching sweaters with you
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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