I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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