You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
