There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
