Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
