She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
