Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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