She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
