My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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