He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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