Sponge bath it is.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
