I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
