dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
