we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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