hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
