I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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