Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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