yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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