i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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